we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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