I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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