nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
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I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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