The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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