I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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