He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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