no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
