We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
This is classic penis vs brain.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
