He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
