they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
