So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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