My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
