I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
