just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
