A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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