I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I just blew my weed a kiss
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
