Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
