the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
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you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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