i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
