I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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