Where is the hickey?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
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Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Also, beer. Big fan.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
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I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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