she woke up with a sticky ear
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
