you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Found your dick twin last night
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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