i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize