YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
