Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
