lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
So squirting runs in the family.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize