i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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