I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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