apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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