They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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