no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
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would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
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Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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