you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
