i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You don't make any sense
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