I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize