i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
