forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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