PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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