i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
