You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
