I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
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