So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I met the friendliest cop last night
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
