school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
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