Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
we made out on top of his cat.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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