He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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