Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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