I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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