i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
My liver is preforming stress tests.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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