More tranny stories later!
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
