I wish I could punch you in the face.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
