Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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