...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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