Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
