Soap is not a condiment
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Randomize
