1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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