what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
