I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize