I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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