your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
