The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
