Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
