I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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